deja vu

As I, fall deeper into a manic state
I'm a prime candidate for the gene
 to recieve the drug addict trait
Blood pressure climbs at a dramatic rate
I seem to grab a take to the bottle of Nyquill
 then I salivate
Start off with a Nyquill, like "I think I'll just
 have a taste"
Couple of sips of that, then I gradually graduate
To a harder prescription drug called
 Valium, like yeah that's great
I go to just take one, and I end up like having eight
Now I need something in my stomach
 'cause I haven't ate
Maybe I'll grab a plate of nachos and
 I'll have a steak
And you'd think that with all I have at stake
Look at my daughters face, "Mommy,
 something is wrong with Dad, I think!
He's acting weird again, he's really
 beginning to scare me
Won't shave his beard again, and he
 pretends he doesn't hear me
And all he does is eat doritos and
 cheetos and he just
Fell asleep in his car readin' three
 musketeers in the rear seat"

[Chorus]
Sometime's I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something
 takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like deja vu, I wanna
 get away from this place I do
But I can't, and I won't, say I try, but 
I know, that's a lie, 'cause I don't
And why I just don't know

[Verse 2]
Maybe just a nice cold brew, what's a beer?
That's the devil in my ear, I've been
 sober a fuckin' year
And that fucker still talks to me, he's
 all I can fuckin' hear
Marshall cmon' we'll watch the 
game, it's the Cowboys and Buccaneers
And maybe if I just drink half, I'll be half
 buzzed for half of the time
Who's the mastermind behind that little line
With that kinda rationale, man I got half a mind
To have another half a glass of wine,
sounds asinine
Yeah I know, But I never had 
no problem with alcohol
Ouch look out for the wall, aim 
for the couch, I'm 'bout to fall
I missed the couch and down I go
 lookin' like a bouncing ball
Shit musta knocked me out, 'cause
 I ain't feel the ground at all
Wow, what the fuck happened last night,
 where am I?
Man, Fuck am I hungover, and god damn I
Got a headache, should have a vicodin? Why can't I
All systems ready for takeoff, please standbye

[Chorus]
Sometime's I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like deja vu, I wanna get 
away from this place I do
But I can't, and I won't, say I try, but 
I know, that's a lie, 'cause I don't
And why I just don't know

[Verse 3]
So I take a vicodin splash, it hit's
 my stomach then *Ahh*
Couple of weeks go by, it ain't even
 like I'm gettin' high
Now I need it to just not to feel sick,
 yeah I'm gettin' by
Wouldn't even be taking this shit
 if DeShaun didn't die
Oh yeah, there's an excuse, you
lose Proof so you use
There's new rules, it's cool if it's
 helping you to get through
It's 12 noon, ain't no harm in self inducing a snooze
What else is new, fuck it, what would
 Elvis do in your shoes
Now here I am 3 months later, full blown relapse
Just get high until the kids get home
 from school holmes relax
And since I'm convinced that I'm an insomniac
I need these pills to be able 
to sleep, so I take 3 naps
Just to be able to function throughout the day
Let's see, that's an ambien each nap,
 how many valium, 3?
And that will average out to about
 one good hours sleep
Ok so now ya see, the reason how come he
Has taken 4 years, to just put out an album, B
See me and you, we almost had the
 same outcome, Heath
Cause that christmas, you 
know the whole pneumonia thing?
It was bologna, was it the methadone ya think?
but the hydrocodone, you hide inside your pornos
Your VCR tape cases, put your ambience,
 see are great places to hide em ain't it
So you can lie to Hailie, I'm going
 beddie bye Whitney baby, goodnight Alaina
Go in the room and shut the bedroom door
And wake up in an ambulance, they
 said they found me on the bathroom floor, damn

[Chorus]
Sometime's I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like deja vu, I wanna
 get away from this place I do
But I can't, and I won't, say I try, but I know, 
that's a lie, 'cause I don't
And why I just don't know