Ol'Rosco

Have you seen Ol' Rosco?
Likes to drink when he drives
Have you seen Ol' Rosco?

I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
If he's out there now.
Drivin' like mad.
Swervin' and a weavin'

thinks he's a model dad.
like a bastard he's grinnin' 
with teeth full of bugs.

Headin' home from the brewery 
the old lunchtime chug-a-lug.

Have you seen Ol' Rosco?
He doesn't think when he drives
Have you seen Ol' Rosco?
I am a bit surprised 
that they haven't nailed him.
for drivin' like a fool.
Accept maybe that one time.
Taking his daughter home from dancin' school.
You see they caught red nose slurin'
He blew a .09 
Made his wife come and get him.
had him pay a 200 dollar fine.

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Have you seen Ol' Rosco?
He's too damn drunk to drive

Saw him pissin' in the bathroom
That's when he gave me the evil eye.
Said boy i think you had too many
Why don't you give up them keys?
Tells me to mind my business 
Says says he'll do as he'll damn well please.

So I ordered hot coffee
and an olie on tap.
I put the olie to my lips
then I poured the hot coffee in his lap.

Have you seen Ol' Rosco?
He wasn't supposed to drive.
He left here three hours ago.
His wife says he never arrived.
He could be out there bleedin'
In the bottom of some ditch.

Some say it serves him right.
The selfish sons-a-bitch.
This time he went head on.
With a purple PT cruiser.
Came out without a scratch.
That's the dumb luck of a boozer.

(((instrumental portion)))

Have you seen Ol' Rosco?
They say he's lucky to be alive.
As for the driver of the Cruiser.
I'm told she may not survive.
And she's the mother of three, 
well two for sure, 
See the one in her belly,
had to be taken premature.
Now Rosco feels bad,
afraid he might get sued.
Good thing he's incorporated.
You see not as much risk to lose.

Have you seen Ol' Rosco?
Now they won't let him drive.
His son takes him bar hoppin'
slips him drink on the side.
His wife's always braggin'
how he hasn't drank in a while.
just afternoon nappin'
life's great in denial.