Johnny Jump Up

I'll tell you a story that happened to me

One day as I went down to Cork by the sea

The sun it was hot and the day it was warm, 

Says I a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm



I went in and I called for a bottle of stout

Says the barman, I'm sorry, all the beer is sold out

Try whiskey or paddy, ten years in the wood

Says I, I'll try cider, I've heard it was good.



Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again

If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten

I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up

After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up



After downing the third I went out to the yard

Where I bumped into Brody, the big civic guard

Come here to me boy, don't you know I'm the law?

Well, I up with me fist and I shattered his jaw



He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up

But it wasn't I hit him, 'twas Johnny Jump Up

The next thing I remember down in Cork by the sea

Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me



I'm afraid of me life I'll be hit by a car

Won't you help me across to the Celtic Knot Bar?

After downing a quart of that cider so sweet

He threw down his crutches and danced on his feet



I went up the lee road, a friend for to see

They call it the madhouse in Cork by the Sea

Butl when I got there, sure the truth I will tell, 

They had this poor bugger locked up in a cell



Said the guard, testing him, say these words if you

Can, 

"Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran"

Tell him I'm not crazy, tell him I'm not mad

It was only a sip of the bottle I had



Well, a man died in the mines by the name of McNabb

They washed him and laid him outside on the slab

And after the parlors measurements did take

His wife brought him home to a bloody fine wake



Twas about 12 o'clock and the beer was high

The corpse sits up and says with a sigh

I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up

Til I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump Up



So if ever you go down to Cork by the sea

Stay out of the ale house and take it from me

If you want to stay sane don't you dare take a sup

Of that devil drink cider called Johnny Jump Up